"I did once find a copy of the Roy Hudd Joke Book for 5p. Outrageously overpriced, but I bought it just to stop anyone looking at it - mostly in case they realised I'm still doing the same jokes" - Comedian Roy Hudd on a visit to a village fete.
"Two prisoners who were coming towards the end of their sentence and doing work experience carried out about three hours' work at my house, doing a bit of decorating. They didn't have anything else on" - Former home secretary Jacqui Smith, defending the use of day-release prisoners to help paint her home. "It can help to visualise the accent: Lancashire, where I am from, curls up at the end. It is a sandwich that has been left in a tank at a shop. Yorkshire, meanwhile, curls down like a lovely piece of cake mixture gone in the oven" Impressionist Jon Culshaw. "It is a negative character. I do not want this kind of negative energy in my life" - Actress Megan Fox, who is having a tattoo of Marilyn Monroe removed from her forearm."I side with the nerds. Fame is gross" - Singer Katy Perry (pictured).
"I side with the nerds. Fame is gross" - Singer Katy Perry (pictured).
